How are you coping since your cat died?
Two in three[1] bereaved pet owners in one UK survey were surprised by how hard it hit. This short, private check-in helps you notice where you are and what might help.
- Six statements, about two minutes
- Private: nothing is saved or sent
- Ideas that match how you're feeling
A gentle check-in
Six statements, about two minutes. This isn't a test or a diagnosis, just a moment to notice how you're doing. Your answers stay on this screen and are never saved or sent.
Choose the answer that feels closest for each statement. There are no right answers.
If you're struggling to cope or thinking about harming yourself, please reach out now.
Source: RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results. This check-in is not a clinical assessment
When you're ready: Talk to someone about a memorial or aftercare →
Using the check-in
How the grief check-in works
You'll see six short statements, such as "I find myself expecting them at the usual times" and "I have someone I can talk to about them." For each one, choose how true it feels right now, from "not really" to "very much." There are no right answers, and you can change your mind as you go.
Your answers stay on your screen. They're never saved, sent or linked to anything else on this site. When you've answered all six, you'll see a short, plain-language summary and a few ideas that fit. It isn't a test and it isn't a diagnosis; it's a moment to notice how you are.
Why it hurts
Why grief for a cat can catch people off guard
Cats live alongside us in small, constant ways: the voice at the bedroom door before the alarm, the weight on your chest while you read, the tap on the arm at dinner time. When those rituals stop, the gaps show up dozens of times a day. That's why "expecting them at the usual times" is one of the six statements.
Many people also carry guilt that's particular to cats. Because cats hide illness so well, owners often feel they should have noticed sooner. In the RSPCA's pet loss survey, 34.5%[2] of bereaved pet owners had been told "it's just a pet," and 57.1%[3] felt they had to hide their grief. Feeling this much is not an overreaction, and our reader poll results show how many other cat owners felt the same.
What the summary means
Reading your result: three places people often are
- Raw and early. Everything is close to the surface. The ideas focus on getting through today: food, water, rest and one person who knows how you really are.
- Riding the waves. Some hours are fine and others knock you flat. The ideas focus on the hardest times of day, often the old feeding times, and on small rituals that give feelings somewhere to go.
- Finding your feet. The loss sits alongside everyday life. The ideas turn toward lasting memorials and being gentle with yourself on anniversaries.
Extra ideas appear depending on specific answers. If you answer "not really" or "a little" to having someone to talk to, you'll see a note about pet loss support lines and online groups, such as the free Tufts Pet Loss Support Helpline in the US. If guilt comes back "somewhat" or "very much", you'll see a gentle word about that. And if getting through the day is hard, it suggests your doctor or a counselor. None of these is a verdict; you might move between them in the same week.
An example
Example: three weeks after a sudden loss
Suppose your cat died of kidney failure three weeks ago, only days after you noticed she was drinking more. You still set out two bowls some mornings. You're getting through work, but guilt about the missed signs keeps returning, and friends have stopped asking.
Say you answer "very much" to expecting her at the usual times and to guilt, "a little" to disbelief, "very much" to getting through the day, and "somewhat" to having someone to talk to and to happy memories. That produces "Riding the waves," with the added note about guilt. The summary might suggest planning something for the early morning, when her routine used to be, and talking the decision through with your vet, who can often reassure you about what could and couldn't have been seen. Our page on grief after losing a cat goes further.
Looking back, did your cat hide signs of illness?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Everyday life
Work, other people and the cats still at home
Grief doesn't stay at home. In the RSPCA's survey, 92%[6] of employed respondents said pet loss affected them at work, yet paid pet bereavement leave is rare; one US survey found only 11%[7] of employers offer it. Taking a day or two of ordinary leave is reasonable. If you haven't yet arranged your cat's aftercare, our cat cremation services page explains the options so that part can be handled simply.
If you have other cats, their changed behavior can reopen the loss each day. Keeping their routines steady helps them and you. Our guide to loss in multi-cat households covers what to expect. If there are children at home, talking with children about losing a cat has age-by-age ideas.
Beyond the check-in
When a check-in isn't enough
Most grief softens with time, but not all. A 2026 UK study in PLOS ONE found that 7.5%[8] of people whose bereavement was a pet met the criteria for prolonged grief disorder. Applying that rate to the roughly 1.5 million US pet cremations a year, our estimate is that about 110,000 US owners a year[9] may be in the same place, so you would be far from alone. If months have passed and you still can't function day to day, your doctor or a counselor can help, and asking isn't an overreaction.
A small ritual can also help: a candle, a letter, planting catmint where your cat liked to sit. The farewell planner helps you put one together, even weeks later, and memorial ideas for cats has more to choose from.
Free tool
Farewell & memorial service planner
Build a simple goodbye: who, where, readings, rituals and a checklist.
Reader polls
What would you choose?
Vote anonymously and see how other readers answered. The results are live counts from people who visit this site, so they show real opinions, not a scientific sample.
Looking back, did your cat hide signs of illness?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What was the hardest part of losing your pet?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
What helped you most in the first weeks?
Tap an answer to vote and see how others answered. Anonymous.
Questions people ask
Is it normal to grieve this much for a cat?
Yes. Studies consistently find that losing a companion animal can hurt as much as losing a person, and closeness to the animal is the strongest predictor of how hard it hits. Cats are part of daily routines in a way others may not see, so the loss can feel surprisingly large.
How long does grief for a cat last?
There's no set timetable. Many people find the sharpest pain eases over weeks to a few months, with harder days around anniversaries or when routines prompt a memory. If you're still unable to function normally after several months, it's worth speaking to your doctor or a counselor.
Why do I feel so guilty after my cat died?
Guilt is one of the most common parts of pet loss, and cats make it more likely because they hide illness until it's advanced. Many owners replay the signs they think they missed. Talking it through with your vet often helps, since they can explain what was realistically visible and when.
Is my answer to the check-in stored anywhere?
No. The check-in runs entirely in your browser. Your answers aren't saved, sent to us or linked to any request or poll vote. If you close the page, they're gone. You can take it again any time, and many people find it useful to check in a few weeks apart.
Sources and our estimates
- [1] 66.9% of respondents were surprised by how intense their grief was after losing a pet. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [2] 34.5% of bereaved pet owners were told 'it's just a pet'. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [3] 57.1% felt they had to hide their grief after a pet died, and 57.8% perceive stigma around pet loss. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [4] 75.4% of RSPCA pet-loss survey respondents experienced anticipatory grief before their pet died. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [5] Only 13.4% of bereaved pet owners felt fully understood by others. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [6] 92% of employed respondents said pet loss affected them at work. RSPCA — Pet Loss Survey Results, 2026.
- [7] Only 11% of employers offer paid pet loss leave, according to an AbsenceSoft survey. AbsenceSoft — Understanding Pet Bereavement Leave and Its Importance to Today's Workforce, 2025.
- [8] 7.5% of UK adults whose bereavement was the death of a pet met criteria for prolonged grief disorder (PGD). Hyland et al., 'No pets allowed: Evidence that prolonged grief disorder can occur following the death of a pet', PLOS ONE (2026), 2026.
- [9] Each year about 110,000 U.S. pet owners may go on to meet prolonged grief disorder criteria after a pet dies. Our estimate: 1.5M pet cremations (proxy for pet deaths with an engaged owner) x 7.5% PGD rate. How we calculate.
Need help with the practical side?
Tell us what you need and where you are. We'll reply by email with clear options and prices so you can decide in your own time.